a creelFish

ever wonder what happens to the feelings you push away? there is only so much space a person can have.

well, anger is prolly the feeling i am most hesitant to feel for various reasons; at the same time, i find myself pretty mad about shit in this world as i try to be as loving as possible/ as i am.

in american society, ppl who aren’t able to “hold it together” are individuated and deemed “crazy” or “loosing/lost it”. this ultimately ignores the larger structures that ask us to “hold it together” in the face of utter bull shit and power dynamics. fvck that shit.

to boot, the acceptable coping mechanisms we are shown are all ways to poison ourselves: either physically with substances that numb and distract - and/or - mentally, spiritually, with garbage about how we are supposed to look, act, and feel in order to be “normal” and “happy” instead of how me may actually feel at times. all of which ultimately makes corporations hella rich.

as per usual, im going to offer healing, mostly because it is contradictory to what all this other shit says to do. healing means feeling what you actually feel, without fearing that you won’t be able to stand afterwards, healing takes the love of community, so you know there is someone to help make sure you are still standing afterwards. 

healing for my life means being pissed off about shit, while still knowing i am a good person no matter what.

whatever you feel, you are a good person no matter what.